carrying a lighter mental load

[JD2020]

Dr. Bredesen recently posted this on FB:

Carrying a lighter mental load is key to our longevity and overall health. An excess of stress both intensifies and heightens the risk of many common health issues, such as heart disease, obesity, depression, gastrointestinal problems, asthma, and cognitive decline. A recent study out of Harvard and Stanford found that stress-related complications have contributed to even more deaths than Alzheimer’s.

I would love to hear suggestions and experiences of how people maintain a lighter mental load during challenging times. Life is not easy, and I need to be able to maintain a certain perspective even when experiencing serious challenges. Right now, I am having serious challenges with my parents. This started in May, and I don't anticipate a resolution ever. Yes, there is a break during meditation, but that does not sooth the deep hurt in my heart during the day, that is in the background of everything that I do, or change the first thoughts upon awakening in the middle of the night or in the early morning. Thank you for any suggestions.

[SusanJ]

Thank you for any suggestions.

When I had to do some deeper work, I found the idea of "morning pages" useful. You just sit first thing in the morning and write 3 pages of whatever comes to mind to fill 3 pages. Long hand works best for me, because it slows me down. And sometimes you just write the same things over and over. But, I found after a few weeks, what I wrote changed, and I could start to see patterns and a few "ah ha" moments, which helped me understand some of the deeper issues I still needed to tackle.

Best wishes on your journey.

[JD2020]

Thanks, Susan.

[floramaria]

Dr. Bredesen recently posted this on FB:

Carrying a lighter mental load is key to our longevity and overall health. An excess of stress both intensifies and heightens the risk of many common health issues, such as heart disease, obesity, depression, gastrointestinal problems, asthma, and cognitive decline. A recent study out of Harvard and Stanford found that stress-related complications have contributed to even more deaths than Alzheimer’s.

I would love to hear suggestions and experiences of how people maintain a lighter mental load during challenging times. Life is not easy, and I need to be able to maintain a certain perspective even when experiencing serious challenges. Right now, I am having serious challenges with my parents. This started in May, and I don't anticipate a resolution ever. Yes, there is a break during meditation, but that does not sooth the deep hurt in my heart during the day, that is in the background of everything that I do, or change the first thoughts upon awakening in the middle of the night or in the early morning. Thank you for any suggestions.

Hi JD2020, I am a big fan of mini-meditations on the fly, especially one I learned from neuropsychologist and mediation teacher Rick Hanson. (He doesn’t claim to have invented this practice, but it is one he teaches.) He calls it “Taking In The Good”.
The basic idea is that we tend to let the good moments in our days go by without giving them much attention while we focus instead on difficulties that we feel “need our attention”. The practice is to pay more attention to anything in the day that you can appreciate or enjoy. Stay with it for 15-30 seconds, or longer if you choose, and intentionally intensify the feeling and make an active effort to internalize whatever the good feeling is…. to bring it in to the body and store it there. It can be as simple as the feeling of sunshine on your skin, or the sound of birds chirping, the beauty of a sunset….anything that brings you a moment of joy. Not letting it pass, but savoring it, getting the most out of it.
I find this practice, along with a gratitude practice, very helpful, even in the most challenging times.

[JD2020]

Hi JD2020, I am a big fan of mini-meditations on the fly, especially one I learned from neuropsychologist and mediation teacher Rick Hanson. (He doesn’t claim to have invented this practice, but it is one he teaches.) He calls it “Taking In The Good”.
The basic idea is that we tend to let the good moments in our days go by without giving them much attention while we focus instead on difficulties that we feel “need our attention”. The practice is to pay more attention to anything in the day that you can appreciate or enjoy. Stay with it for 15-30 seconds, or longer if you choose, and intentionally intensify the feeling and make an active effort to internalize whatever the good feeling is…. to bring it in to the body and store it there. It can be as simple as the feeling of sunshine on your skin, or the sound of birds chirping, the beauty of a sunset….anything that brings you a moment of joy. Not letting it pass, but savoring it, getting the most out of it.
I find this practice, along with a gratitude practice, very helpful, even in the most challenging times.

Thank you. That is the sort of very specific and hopeful suggestion I was looking for. I am printing this out and putting it on my desk so I remember.

[floramaria]

Thank you. That is the sort of very specific and hopeful suggestion I was looking for. I am printing this out and putting it on my desk so I remember.

You are welcome. I hope you find that it helps!

[circular]

Dr. Bredesen recently posted this on FB:

Carrying a lighter mental load is key to our longevity and overall health. An excess of stress both intensifies and heightens the risk of many common health issues, such as heart disease, obesity, depression, gastrointestinal problems, asthma, and cognitive decline. A recent study out of Harvard and Stanford found that stress-related complications have contributed to even more deaths than Alzheimer’s.

I would love to hear suggestions and experiences of how people maintain a lighter mental load during challenging times. Life is not easy, and I need to be able to maintain a certain perspective even when experiencing serious challenges. Right now, I am having serious challenges with my parents. This started in May, and I don't anticipate a resolution ever. Yes, there is a break during meditation, but that does not sooth the deep hurt in my heart during the day, that is in the background of everything that I do, or change the first thoughts upon awakening in the middle of the night or in the early morning. Thank you for any suggestions.

This is especially hard when we're dealing with any kind of stress, not to mention trauma. Sometimes, as you allude, the stressors and challenge(s) can continue for many years. In addition to the other good ideas mentioned here, I offer these thoughts:

1) A grief support group or other focus on grief processing that works for you. It's easy to isolate when we're in grief, knowing that no one has experienced just exactly what we're going through. A group and/or counselor can help you not to get too stuck while maintaining meaningful connections with sympathetic people who don't have another agenda for you.

2) If you haven't yet, you might want to experiment with all different kinds of meditation to find one(s) that work particularly well for you and that might have deeper and longer lasting effects. I did this over many years. Eventually I learned that transcendental meditation had the most profound effect for me on changing stress patterns and lasting well beyond the the session itself (although I sometimes still use other methods for reasons specific to them). If you decide to further explore the many methods available, whatever form(s) you practice, it's usually recommended to meditate twice a day for about 20 minute sessions. One purpose of this is to help maintain the effect better. The quick meditations that floramaria mentions are great to help bridge the gap and rewire the brain as well.

It can be a tricky balance between meditating—which in most of its forms eases stress by helping us get less "hooked" by things going on—and getting the necessary, deep emotional releases we all need at one time or another from those very things/people we're hooked to. One of the things I like about transcendental meditation is that it more directly allows for releasing grief during the meditation session, thus moving both balls forward. Rather than just observing and labeling it, which doesn't release it, the idea is that if any form of physical tension arises during mediation it can just be lived and released. If that's all that happens during the mediation it was a good meditation and achieved its purpose at that time.

Ideally meditation enables us to live our highest selves in peace and equanimity. When one has all the wind they need in their sails, this is much easier. In our culture and time, however, most people are fraught with unbelievable stress, so our meditation doesn't achive it's highest aim. Instead it just tends to be about "stress reduction" rather than manifestation, and often in itself it isn't enough to tackle the stress. Sleep, diet, exercise, nature, … the variables for optimizing peace and acceptance are many. Though it may be a juggling act for a while, eventually life and perceptions change enough that you'll find yourself in a different place with it.

[Julie G]

I would love to hear suggestions and experiences of how people maintain a lighter mental load during challenging times. Life is not easy, and I need to be able to maintain a certain perspective even when experiencing serious challenges.

Sending gentle hugs and good energy your way. I'm also going through some rough times layered with the downfall of both my mother and uncle for whom I'm the primary caretaker. I share some ideas in this blog post entitled Three Things to Hang Onto To.

[JD2020]

Sending gentle hugs and good energy your way. I'm also going through some rough times layered with the downfall of both my mother and uncle for whom I'm the primary caretaker. I share some ideas in this blog post entitled Three Things to Hang Onto To.

It can be a tricky balance between meditating—which in most of its forms eases stress by helping us get less "hooked" by things going on—and getting the necessary, deep emotional releases we all need at one time or another from those very things/people we're hooked to. One of the things I like about transcendental meditation is that it more directly allows for releasing grief during the meditation session, thus moving both balls forward. Rather than just observing and labeling it, which doesn't release it, the idea is that if any form of physical tension arises during mediation it can just be lived and released. If that's all that happens during the mediation it was a good meditation and achieved its purpose at that time.

Ideally meditation enables us to live our highest selves in peace and equanimity. When one has all the wind they need in their sails, this is much easier. In our culture and time, however, most people are fraught with unbelievable stress, so our meditation doesn't achive it's highest aim. Instead it just tends to be about "stress reduction" rather than manifestation, and often in itself it isn't enough to tackle the stress. Sleep, diet, exercise, nature, … the variables for optimizing peace and acceptance are many. Though it may be a juggling act for a while, eventually life and perceptions change enough that you'll find yourself in a different place with it.

Circular and Julie, thank you very much for your comments. I am delayed in responding because I was offline for a week, visiting Iceland. I got a little release - the stark beauty, intensity, and cold was very grounding. I will try to hang on to this small progress.

Circular, I will look into transcendental meditation. There is so much grief and pain to release.

Julie, I am very sorry about the challenges in your home. My husband was a contractor, and as our needs changed, he did whatever was necessary to our house. There is nothing like living in a construction zone to blow up a person's serenity. Best wishes.

[mike]

This started in May, and I don't anticipate a resolution ever. Yes, there is a break during meditation, but that does not sooth the deep hurt in my heart during the day, that is in the background of everything that I do, or change the first thoughts upon awakening in the middle of the night or in the early morning. Thank you for any suggestions.

I've been going through something like this with my son. When I wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking dark thoughts and it starts to spiral, I find that turning on the TV very low helps me break the spiral. Too low to really understand, so I don't start to follow it. Maybe not the best way to do it, but it allows for more sleep.